Power is currently a central theme in the study of international aid relationships, often described in terms of conflict between bounded organisational entities – ‘Northern’ donors and ‘Southern’ recipients. This article considers the complexity of the operation of power between individual social actors based on the author’s reflection on her experience as an expatriate development practitioner in Southeast Asia, conceived as a journey through ‘Aidland’. She argues that expatriates who are sent to build capacity – to ‘empower’ actors in recipient countries – can end up reproducing inequities in social relations of power, both in an attempt to feel secure in unfamiliar environments and by using privileged knowledge of the rules of the aid system to their advantage. The article concludes that expatriate aid workers need to continually ask themselves whether their presence in Aidland is empowering local actors and enabling them to take the lead in their own development – not an easy question to answer